


I Will Survive

by MaelstromFenrir



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, Fantasy, Light vs Darkness, M/M, More characters added later, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rekindling Relationship, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 13:00:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16811140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaelstromFenrir/pseuds/MaelstromFenrir
Summary: When you said you were bored and done with me. I broke. I cried. But I thought I'd survive. Weeks later my door was unlocked, I drew my keyblade ready to fight off the intruder, but it was just you. The one who broke into my heart.Why were you back? Just to break my heart again? Or did you want me back?





	I Will Survive

**Author's Note:**

> So I was listening to the song 'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor and this story suddenly wrote itself. Just for fun I tried to use as many of the lyrics from the song as I could manage. 
> 
> Story isn't just a VanxVen. It is also fantasy action Light vs Darkness epic. Other pairings might happen, not sure at the moment.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

**_Survive 1.0_ **

“I’m fine Aqua really.” I shook my head at how she was acting. I let out a light laugh, but it felt slightly hollow even to me. Was I fine? I didn’t know. I wanted to be. But somehow I couldn’t believe in that fact. But that didn’t mean I wanted to worry Aqua.

We were currently standing outside of my apartment complex grocery bags in hand. I was trying to get back inside after finally venturing out from my ‘cave’ Sora had jokingly called it. 

“Ven…” Aqua put her hand on my shoulder. “You don’t have to lie to me. I can see the truth.”

I shook off her hand trying to ignore the pained look she had to my actions. I’ve cried enough. I’ve relied on you all so much. I can’t keep hurting you by holding you back. “I’m not lying.” I am. “Give me a break Aqua, I’ve even been going to training and on missions. The Master even said I’ve been doing a great job.”

It had been a few weeks, but I had finally decided to live my life. I was just dragging everyone down with me. Aqua, Terra, Sora, they were all constantly by my side. My heart was still in pieces though, it still hurt, but I’ll survive.

I couldn’t go on team missions though, I was still a broken mess that would just randomly burst into tears and depression. I had thought we would be together forever, and then he just ended it. Or maybe it was never real. I might have been the only one feeling so strongly about it.

Aqua gave me a pointed look. “Ven, I’m just worried. I don’t want you to get hurt out there. The darkness will show you no mercy if you give it an opening.” 

“Aqua, if it will make you feel better you can help me put away my food.” I rolled my eyes a bit. I wasn’t the blubbering mess that I was when he first broke up with me. I just sat in my bed wrapped up in the blanket covers crying. I could still smell him on the blanket, I could feel him, it hurt, but it also helped me run from reality. But that was the past… as was he.

We headed into the complex and went to my apartment. I put my key in and then I lowered my bags to the floor. My face grew serious and I summoned my keyblade.

“Ven?”

I put my finger to my lips. “It is already unlocked.” I told her before I slowly opened the door, trying to make as little noise as possible. Had someone in Organization 13 found me out and come to kill me?

I gulped and stepped inside. I had fought darkness before, the small monsters known as heartless. But… I’d never actually fought a member of the Organization before. Master had warned us not to take them lightly and try to avoid confrontation with them. But if we never take them out… the heartless will never end.

I stepped into my living room ready for a battle. My keyblade drawn in the backhanded stance I fought with. But my keyblade vanished in a second at the scene in front of me.

“Van… Van... Vanitas?” It was hard for me to find my voice.

Said black haired young man was lounging on my couch with his feet up on the glass end table in front of him. He seemed focused on the tv, but he turned at the sound of my voice. We made eye contact and he smirked with that arrogant grin he liked to wear. He held up the beer can in his hand. “Hey Ven.”

My mind froze, it flashed back to that horrid memory when I came back one night early from a mission only to find Vanitas kissing someone else. My boyfriend kissing someone else. That was the night he said he was bored of me and done with me.

“When did you become such a slob?” Vanitas said in his smooth deep voice pointing out the boxes of instant noodles, pasta and other stuff, the empty beer cans. “You were always such a stickler making sure I cleaned up and now you just throw trash around?” He chuckled a bit. 

I could feel my heart speed up hearing that laugh of his. No… not this again… I just started recovering. Why are you here? You…. were done with me…

“Ven, are you okay?” Aqua walked up behind me. “Ugh look at this mess, Ven-” Aqua stopped and snarled drawing her keyblade. “What are you doing here?!”

“What do you mean?” Vanitas sounded genuinely confused. He pulled out a key from his pocket and held it up. “I have a key, so I let myself in.”

“After what you did to Ven, do you think you are welcome in his house! You broke his heart!” Aqua pointed her keyblade at him. “First you just decide to give up your position as a guardian of light and then you break up with Ven out of the blue and run off!”

I glanced down at the floor. I never told anyone that Vanitas had cheated on me. I had hoped by not saying it aloud I could pretend it never happened. But every time I looked at that couch the memory would flood back.

Vanitas didn’t seem threatened by Aqua and just shrugged. “I got bored of it. Just because I can use a keyblade I’m forced to be a guardian now?”

I got bored of it. Was he talking about being a guardian, or me?

Aqua clenched her fists. “That doesn’t excuse what you did to Ven!”

“Oh? Am I not allowed to break up with someone either? We weren’t working out so I ended it.”

“That’s it! You selfish bastard do you know how broken Ven was!? Get out of his house before I force you out!”

I put my hand up to stop Aqua and turned to look at her.

Vanitas’ smirk left, replaced by a frown, before he shrugged. “I thought we were cool still. I mean he never asked for the key back.”

I should have changed that stupid lock. I should have made him leave his key. Why didn’t I? I knew the answer to that, it was because I wanted him to come back. If I did those things it was like admitting that Vanitas was forever gone from my life.

But isn’t that what I wanted now? I had just started mending my heart, I was getting over him.

“That’s because we couldn’t get in touch with you! Do you know how much Ven was crying for you!”

“Aqua stop!” I shouted at her staring down at the floor again. I didn’t want Vanitas to know how broken I was. I took a deep breath trying not to cry. I looked up and stared him in the face. My ex… the one I still cared about, but at the same time wanted gone. “Why are you here Vanitas?”

Vanitas looked away from us. “I have some business to take care of in the area, so I need a place to crash for a little while.”

“Get a hotel.” Aqua muttered.

“I don’t have that kind of money, or really much at all. I don’t exactly have a lot of choices here.” Vanitas let out a sigh. “And then I remembered your place, and I still had the key so I thought we were cool.”

You thought I’d be okay with what happened? The cheating? All the hurtful words you threw at me? I could feel a piece of my sadness getting dyed red with rage. 

“But if I’m really that much of a problem, I’ll leave.” Vanitas turned and stared at me. He smiled at me. “It is your choice  _ Ven _ .” 

The way he said my name, it was the same way he used to say lovingly. I clenched my fists for a second. “It’s Ventus.” You aren’t allowed to call me Ven anymore, especially in that tone.

His eyes went wide in surprise. “Oh right, sorry.” Various emotions flashed through his eyes, so many across his face. “Ventus.” There was clear disappointment in his tone and he frowned again. 

Wait? You still care about me? I wasn’t sure what to do anymore. I had been wishing all this time he’d come back in my life, and now he did. And… and… it seemed I still mattered to him, isn’t this my dream come true?

No, you know what you need to do. You can’t be around him without breaking. “You can stay.” I couldn’t believe what my mouth had just said.

“Ven!” Aqua snapped at me. “No, you can’t let him stay. Kick this loser out.”

“Excuse me?!” Vanitas snarled getting up from his position on the couch. He walked over to me and smiled at me. “It isn’t your choice to make Aqua. It’s Ven’s… Ventus’. Thanks Ventus.” He seemed genuinely happy. 

Aqua snatched up my hand and pulled me away into the kitchen. “Ven! You can’t let him stay. I know you want to help him, but this is a bad idea. If he really needs a place he can go to the master.”

“But I want him to stay here Aqua.” I felt a tear slide down my cheek. “I miss him Aqua. I still love him.”

Aqua grabbed and shook me. “Ven, wake up. He dumped you and despite how he is phrasing it, I know he didn’t do it nicely. You wouldn’t have been so broken if that was the case. He hurt you, and doesn’t care. He wanted to break you. He wanted you to just lay down and die. He doesn’t care about you!”

I broke away from Aqua. “Get out.”

Aqua’s face looked like she had just gotten stabbed. “What?”

“I said get out. You not welcome anymore.” I didn’t want to hear her words. Even if they were the truth, I don’t want them to be true. And the more I heard them, the more they felt real.

“Alright.” Aqua took a step back. “I’m sorry Ven, it seems I went a little far. But I don’t regret what I said, nor do I take it back. I’m always on your side, even after he hurts you again.” Aqua left me those words before she set my food down and then exited my apartment.

I collapsed to the floor. Tears ran down my face and splashed against the floor. I know Aqua I know… I know… 

“Hey Ven… tus… I was thinking in return for allowing me to stay I’ll pitch in. You interested in some food? I haven’t eaten yet.” I could hear Vanitas as he walked into the room shortly after Aqua left. “You okay?” 

I wiped my tears and smiled at him. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. I just had a little fight with Aqua.”

He crossed his arms and frowned. “So… uh... “ He seemed at a little lost for words. “You want to eat?”

“Yeah, I’ll make something.” I said getting up and pulling out a cup of instant noodles.

“Not this slop.” Vanitas snatched it and threw it at some corner. I hope it didn’t open… “I meant real food.”

“I don’t really feel up to it, I’m-”

“I said I’d make it. Stop spacing out, geez.” My mouth fell open at those words. “What?” His eyebrow raised.

“But you never cook. You never even made instant stuff while we were dating. I did all the cooking.” To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Was this really the same Vanitas I knew before? 

He snorted. “Well, I had to take care of myself once we broke up, stupid. And apparently I cook more than you now.” He said pointing at all the stacks of instant noodle cups sitting on the table. “What happened? How can you live in this mess?”

I frowned and looked down at the floor. I hadn’t thought much about the state of my apartment before. It was filled with trash now, since I didn’t have the energy to take the trash out. It was strange how a heartbroken state made you not want to even throw things away anymore.

“I just didn’t feel like taking care of it.” I muttered. I wasn’t sure I wanted him to hear that. If he knew how broken I was after he left, would he feel bad? Would he come back and never leave me then? 

If he heard me he didn’t respond, instead he walked over to the fridge and cabinets and began poking around them. “What the fuck Ven, you’ve got nothing but instant stuff and tons of alcohol.” He grabbed the trash can and angrily began throwing the instant noodle cups in it. “You need to take better care of yourself!”

You did this to me. You were the one who tried to hurt me. You broke me. So why are you just standing there? Take responsibility, hug me, console me, promise to never leave me! Apologize to me!

“I don’t think that is any of your business anymore.” I ended up shooting back a biting remark. “And it isn’t ‘Ven,’ it is ‘Ventus.’ Don’t make the mistake again!” Why… why did I say that? 

I think part of me was also mad at him, maybe even hated him. He tried to break me, it wasn’t accidently either. He hadn’t even spoken about that, or apologized about it. A felt myself grin just a little when he seemed surprised and a little hurt at my words. Good. You hurt me with yours. This is just a little payback. You deserve so much more. But… I want to love you… I want you to love me. But… I think part of me hates you now too…

It is your fault I got in a fight with Aqua too. If only you hadn’t come back. You’ll not welcome anymore… but here you are. I can’t kick you out.

Vanitas seemed frozen, he just stared at me with his mouth agape for a while, before he turned around and continued looking for something he could cook. “Right… sorry… You’re right, it isn’t any of my business.”

Vanitas ended up finding some chicken breasts I had bought months ago and a bag of frozen vegetables and began cooking. We didn’t talk much as he cooked, he seemed oddly focused on his task, also slightly nervous, despite how easily he handled it.

I decided to grab some plates and set the table, after I cleaned the empty noodle cups off of it. Once the food was finished Vanitas plated some up and we sat down and began to eat. I had to admit it was very good. Vanitas had seasoned the chicken and the vegetables well, probably even better than I could do. It was a surprise, he really had lots of practice cooking after all.

“I’m surprised it tastes good.” I voiced my opinion.

“Excuse me.” His eyes narrowed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

I ventured carefully, Vanitas was always so quick to anger. “Well, for someone who considered ‘instant noodles you just add water to being too much effort,’ I didn’t expect you to be such a good cook.” I hope he didn’t take it as an insult, I was honestly trying to compliment him.

To my relief he smiled. “Well I had to practice a lot. It wasn’t easy, but if you think it is good, it was worth it.” 

I was surprised. Not only did he not get angry, he also wasn’t bragging. He’s changed.

“If it is so good, maybe you can repay me back then.” He said with a smirk.

Or not, that sounded like the old sly Vanitas. I frowned as I thought about something. “Did you think you could use walk in and we’d be back together?” I wasn’t sure how I wanted him to answer. I didn’t even know which one I wanted. “That you could just come in and sweep me away by cooking dinner for once? I’d be all over you?”

He frowned. “.....Maybe.” He said in almost a whisper.

He thought I’d just be all over him?! “That won’t happen.” What am I to you? Just some little toy you can use and abuse when you want? I’m not yours Vanitas! “I’m not that chained up little person still in love with you.”

Vanitas jumped a little. “I didn’t mean it th-”

I liked his surprised and pained expression. “You thought you could walk in and just expect me to be free? A free little fuck you could just come back to when you were bored?!” I was started to get enraged, Vanitas and I both had a nasty temper, but on my hand it was harder to get me going. 

“No, I don’t-”

I put my hand up to stop him. “Well guess what you’re wrong! I don’t need you. I have all my life to live, and all my love to give. And now I’m saving all my loving for someone who’s loving me. I don’t need you. I will survive.”

“Ventus…”

I cut him off. “In fact I’m not single. I have a boyfriend.” What am I saying?!

Vanitas’ eyebrow raised. “Oh? I didn’t know.” 

That’s it? That’s all he responds with? I clenched my fork hard. I thought about summoning my keyblade and stabbing Vanitas with it. Didn’t I mean anything? No jealousy that I had a new boyfriend? No painfully apologizing? No begging to get back together? No crying? Nothing at all? 

I stood up. “I’m going to bed, thanks for the food.” I started to walk out. I stopped, still looking into the living room away from him. “And just so we’re clear you are sleeping on the couch, you’re not welcome in my bedroom.”

Once I was in my room I shut the door and locked it. I collapsed next to it. Tears rolled down my face. I was so stupid. Why did I say all those things? He probably doesn’t think about me anymore, and if he did, now I really blew it. 

I just couldn’t stop myself. When I saw his first hurt expression, it all got unleashed. All my rage at him, and all my desire to hurt him like he hurt me. I thought I’d break him, get him crying, apologizing.

I slammed the back of my head into the door. I’m so stupid! I love him… but I hate him too! And he probably only thinks of me as a friend with benefits… maybe that was all I ever was to him.


End file.
